


Promise

by lobstergirl



Series: Of Darkness and Silence [6]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Kylux - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 18:38:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7117903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lobstergirl/pseuds/lobstergirl





	Promise

The helmet doesn’t reply. Of course it doesn’t. It’s just an old, battered thing. But it’s been his faithful companion and meditation focus for so long that sometimes he does expect it to talk back. After all, it’s been in close proximity to one of the most powerful Jedi minds ever.

And herein lies the question that gnaws at him. He knows that although Lord Vader was a faithful disciple of the dark side, there was light in him, light that triumphed over darkness in the end. His uncle has told him the story time and again.

So basically, Lord Vader was torn inside.

Just like he is.

How did he do it? How did he get where he was while light constantly tried to lure him from the dark? How come the Emperor never crushed it? Did it amuse him to watch his most faithful servant struggle with temptation?

_I will finish what you started._

Just… what is it that Vader started? He sure didn’t start the Empire. With the assassination of the Emperor he finished rather than started it. By saving his son’s life he turned away from the dark side rather than fully embrace it.

So how come that despite getting rid of his here-today-gone-tomorrow father there’s still two sides warring inside him? He is not sorry Han Solo is gone. That bridge was burnt a long time ago.

And yet.

Kylo closes his eyes and remembers the second his lightsabre activated. He remembers hesitating, a feeling of _not-right_ flickering up for the briefest of moments. He remembers an unexpected flash of grief.

His thoughts jump to the agonising moments – minutes? hours? – of lying bleeding in the snow. Defeated. Ashamed. Hating himself. Hating that girl who beat him. She’s untrained. Inexperienced. But so strong. So full of potential. He has looked into her eyes and has recognised himself in her. He frowns. He’s not comfortable with that piece of insight. Not at all. Where is she anyway? Snoke hasn’t mentioned her since he’s begun to personally train Kylo.

Oh but how he hates the training sessions. He can take the pain. He thinks of pain as weakness leaving the body. And it is true that under Snoke’s merciless drills he’s become even stronger and a better swordsman, too. But he is tired of the constant sneers. He is tired of being angry and frustrated all the time. He can’t focus while he’s building up the anger that Snoke says is needed to walk the path of the dark side.

It’s when he thinks of Hux that his mind stills and he can turn his front sight to the set goal. Hux has shown him ways to control his fear and channel his energy. In return, he has shown Hux how to better _shroud_ that secret place inside his head. He has no idea why Hux knows how to do something like that but one thing is certain. He is not going to tell Snoke about it.

Snoke knows of him and Hux, of course he does. He senses their carefully forged bond but he dismisses it. The master of the Knights of Ren and the First Order’s most ruthless general – rutting like the animals Snoke thinks they are. Oh yes, he feels the Supreme Leader’s contempt whenever Kylo falters and stops functioning the way he should. He felt his disgust after finding out about that little tree Hux had in his quarters. Snoke never actually voices his revulsion but it is right there. His alien mind doesn’t understand the complexity of human emotions. Hate, fear and anger are the only ones he is interested in for they feed the dark side. Snoke does not understand what it is that has grown between Hux and Kylo, does not understand what they have become.

Kylo takes off his mask and runs his hands through his hair. He keeps it long now because Hux likes it that way. A memory of Hux clutching a fistful of his hair in sheer desperation makes the corners of his mouth turn up. It hurt like fuck but he was smug about it for days.

It’s time he puts an end to this.

He cannot fool himself any longer. He’s past being torn in two. That’s something that he clings to out of habit when in fact he’s made his choice a while ago. There’s one who’s made him whole again, and his is the side he has chosen.

He looks at his grandfather’s helmet.

“I _will_ finish what you started.”

And to do that, he must face the one person he fears most. 

Hux isn't going to like this at all. 

 


End file.
